In the last two weeks my heart has been humbled to the love I receive.
The Lord has placed person after person who constantly uplifts, inspires and encourages me
'Keep on Doin this'.
If you remember my 'Jenny From My Block' post,
you would remember the blessing my brother Dave gave to me, that I would,
"Live an Abundant life".
At first I didn't know quite what that meant.
But in the last two weeks. . .
My eyes have been opened WIDE to just how abundant my life is.
In so many ways-but mostly in one way-and that way is
I give it, I receive it and somehow I am blessed to be in this beautiful cycle of living abundantly
with people who I love and people who love me.
That as I receive, I give and as I give others receive and so on the dance continues filling my heart
with more gratitude for the abundance of love I feel.
More times than not I feel completely unworthy of the abundance of love God has put in my life.
"Why should I be so blessed with so much love?"
when others around me just need an ounce,
and here I am hogging it all...
and so I give love to those who need some.
And the honest truth is this...
The more you give, the more you get.
Sometimes I think,
"I am not the only one who has suffered hard trials at a young age in life."
There are many who have suffered similar tragedies, if not more extreme and devastating. . .
So why me? Why am I so blessed to be the recipient of such an outpouring of love?
I don't know the answer to this question.
I would like for you to meet someone.
This guy goes above and beyond to comfort my troubled heart.
He has become a very dear friend who I'm grateful for in my life.
We became friends when we both discovered that we love to write.
I may or may not have encouraged him to start a blog of his very own.
A blog that is indeed insightful and uplifting and fantastic.
A blog every person should check out.
He's quite clever.
And one time he posted about me.
He's oftentimes much too complimentary
and I feel undeserving.
On Monday, our conversation went something like this,
"Michelle, cancel your plans on Thursday. Whatever you have going on, clear your schedule. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You can't miss this. If you have ever trusted me, trust me now."
"WHAT is it?"
"Just trust me."
I couldn't wrap my mind around what could possibly be a once in a lifetime opportunity that couldn't be missed.
I concurred and met him at door 3 of the Tabernacle at 7:30 last night.
It so happened, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir was practicing for their weekly broadcast they do on Sunday.
In my mind I thought, "Well, isn't this lovely." I love music. It has a way of speaking to me.
About 20 minutes into the practice, the usher came to us and said,
"We are ready, follow me."
And before I knew what was happening, the choir director announces,
"We have a special guest. Michelle Newman, thank you for being here. This woman has been through some difficult trials in her young life, and for you, we would like to dedicate this song."
I stood on the stage with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir surrounding me, standing right beside the organ and the orchestra below, as I was serenaded by the most beautiful musical talent in the Salt Lake Valley.
As I stood and soaked it in, I looked into the eyes of what must have been hundreds of individuals and thought to myself,
"Certainly there are many here singing this song to me who have also suffered tremendous trials, who have faced them courageously and with strength, optimism and joy. . . what makes me different to deserve all this kind of attention or recognition?"
My gratitude got the best of my heart
as it was full for the strength I felt while these beautiful individuals had tear filled eyes
and while a smile spread across my face.
Climb every mountain,Search high and low,
Follow every highway,
Every path you know.
Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
'Till you find your dream.
A dream that will need
All the love you can give,
Every day of your life
For as long as you live.
It certainly has felt like I have climbed a mountain the last 6 years.
Shucks, it feels like Mt. Everest.
From rocks and hills,
slips, falls, tumbles,
strength, endurance, perseverance,
beauty, rain, sunshine and gloom.
Rivers, lakes and ponds that
at times I have swam through and other times have almost drowned in.
To being engulfed in the foliage all the while being discouraged as I was blinded to see that I was making progress in my climb.
Getting lost, taking wrong turns and needing to rely on God as my own personal hiking companion to get me back on the beating path.
Yes, indeed I have climbed every mountain.
Albeit sometimes slow, sometimes with slips and falls, scrapes, cuts, bruises and wounds.
But alas, there are moments I get glimpses of what life will look like at the top of my Mountains peak.
And what I see is a majestic life filled with beauty, contentment, serenity and peace
for all the hard work it's taken to get there.
The pain and heartache has built my valley.
And when I get to the top of my mountain and look down at my valley of life,
the pain that created my valley will become beautiful as I look at it from afar.
I have climbed my mountain, or I could say, I'm climbing my mountain.
But I have found the dream that will need all the Love I can give, every day of my life for as long as I live. . .
And that dream is simply this,
to have the opportunity to share my love with others who suffer,
to give a smile to grief,
to encourage others to smile through the pain,
dance in the storm, and play in the rain.
To help others create their own sadppy,
to give validation to those whose hearts hurt
but most of all,
bare testimony of how abundant our Heavenly Fathers love is for each of us.
He loves us.
He loves me.
He love you.
And I love you too.
Thank you Jack Jack.
My heart is humbled and full of gratitude.